Retirement: A Full-Time Job

Did an Engagement Ring Turn into Retirement?

Just read an article posing the very interesting question "would we really retire if we are 45 years old and we reach our million dollar dream?"   Well, yes emphatically yes, 44 in fact! The author goes on to give an example, when it's time to get married, do you really want to spend the money on that full-blown wedding?

This reminds me of when Doug and I got engaged 16 years ago.  I told him don't buy me a ring yet, I want a house.  Later, when we had recovered from the expense of the house (and the wedding, yes we did spend the money on a full-blown wedding, I admit), I said "don't buy me a ring yet, we need a car."  Then later, when we recovered from the expense of the new car, I decided no ring, I want a new deck.  And it went on and on like that.

I remember explaining all this to my sister-in-law when she asked me "WHEN are you EVER going to get a ring!"  She then told me that if we started now, and put some money aside, then, when it eventually got to be big enough, we could buy a ring.  What she didn't seem to get is that we HAD the money to buy the ring, there was just always something I wanted more than that piece of jewelry!

And so it is with retirement.  I could keep working and continue to buy cool stuff, extravagant vacations, basically whatever I want whenever I want it, but there's something I want more than the stuff, time!  I want retirement!

And now I pose the question, did not spending the money all those years ago on that ring help me to reach the million dollar dream of retirement a year early?  I think so!

I work, Therefore I Am

When you work, you are somebody.

I can already foresee the problem.  Say we're at a party, we meet some new people.  They ask me "what do you do, Sydney?"  I tell them I'm a CFO at a venture capital firm", translation:  I am somebody.  Then they ask my husband, "Doug, what do you do?"  He tells them "I take care of Sydney."  Not only does he get points for being somebody, but also points for being a really cool guy, a stay at home husband, what a novelty.  (Not to mention, he becomes more attractive to other women--"you mean he does ALL the cooking?"   Nothing sexier than that, I know.)  A real conversation starter.

Now imagine the same party but I'm retired too.  What does Sydney do, nothing.  What does Doug do, nothing.  (He can no longer take credit for taking care of me, now I have the time to do that myself.) Perhaps they ask us what we do all day, gardening, cooking, home-improvement projects, perhaps a bike ride.  "How nice," they say, and having lost total interest in us, move on to go meet somebody with a job.

I imagine this is much the same as some women experience who have quit their jobs to stay at home and raise children.  I've heard that conversation at a party, heck, I've been on the other side of that conversation.  "Jane, what do you do," I ask.  Jane tells me she stays home now to take care of her kids; perhaps she feels compelled to tell me what she used to do, you know, when she was somebody.  I have no kids so not really sure where to go conversationally.  Perhaps I ask how old the kids are, how many, what grade they are in.  "How nice," I say as I leave to go meet somebody with a job.

So it appears, if I am going to retire and be somebody, I'm going to have to get busy skydiving, climbing Mt. Everest, or helping to solve world hunger.  Something like that.

Hate your Job? Join the club!

So my neighbor, Tim, put me in my place yesterday.  In talking about my job (my soon-to-be ex-job), he said "do you not like your job?"  I told him that I did for a long time, but after 17+ years I'm just tired of it.  He told me that I was part of a very select group of people, those not liking their jobs, "you know what that group is called?  It's called EVERYONE!"

Well, I'm sure there's a lot of truth in that.  But then why does almost EVERYONE, when I tell them that I'm retiring, ask me "but what will you DOOOOOO!"  I am very well aware that in not working I will no longer be collecting a paycheck, and it is that fact that keeps most people from retiring.  I get that.  What I don't get is the idea that someone wouldn't want to retire because they would have nothing to do? 

I guess the problem, really, is that there will be very little you have to do.  Of course there will be errands and tasks you must accomplish, say, in order to eat, keep your cars running, keep your electricity on.  But for the most part, most of what I do will be what I want to do rather than what I have to do.  And without someone telling you what you have to do, you actually have to figure out what it is you really want to do.  Yes, I see the dilemma.

However, if you are really honest with yourself, you must admit, that during the time that you are at work collecting your paycheck, you are sometimes (shall I posit even often?) doing something you want to do rather than what you have to do (chit chatting with co-workers, planning your next vacation, reading something interesting on the internet, or perhaps even posting something about retirement on your Blog!)  So part of what I do in retirement will be things that I was formerly collecting a paycheck while doing, but will now be doing purely for pleasure (not avoidance of work). 

But also I will do all those things I don't feel I get enough time to do during the week (sleeping, gardening, home improvement projects, sewing, knitting, reading, exercising and dare I say it, possibly even sex!)  Yes, perhaps I am over-glamorizing retirement.  Perhaps it will be really boring.  Perhaps I will be overcome with guilt for not being a productive member of society.  Or perhaps I will just hate not getting to spend money on whatever I want whenever I want it, we'll see.  I'm very much looking forward, though, to seeing just how awful it will be. . .