"On the other hand, sometimes you encountered people who'd stopped playing everyone else's game, who seemed to be semi-happy and with it, who said, in so many words, I saw the cheese, I lived on it for years, and it wasn't worth it. It was plain old Safeway Swiss."
--Anne Lamott, Grace Eventually
When you're busy playing "everyone else's game," it's easy to start thinking that it's the game you actually want to be playing. Work, work, work, so you can buy, buy, buy. Grow your career so you can grow your lifestyle. Then, keep on working so you can keep supporting your ever-expanding standard of living.
It's a vicious cycle, and one that most people have to break if they want to make the dream of retirement a reality.
An article in yesterday's New York Times points out, much of our consumption treadmill is really an attempt to signal a message to other people about our personalities, but it turns out nobody's really listening to that message. We may think that a luxury car, watch, or handbag says something about us, but the reality is that people don't really care what we're buying: "The fundamental consumerist delusion . . . is that purchases affect the way we're treated."
I'll admit, I've done my share of status purchasing. About a decade ago, we purchased a brand-new luxury sedan and gave our seven-year-old Mazda Miata to my husband's dad. He recently told us that he wasn't using it much and said we could have it back if we wanted. The paint is chipping, the driver's seat is splitting, and the interior is scented now, with a hint of mildew. I drove that car around today and couldn't believe we ever gave it away!
It is so much fun to drive, much more fun than that luxury sedan. It may be double the age, but at a mere 100,000 miles, it has 50,000 less than our "newer" car, and the gas mileage is a whole lot better. Driving around in that car was like hanging out with an old friend. It was familiar and comfortable, and it transported me back in time about 15 years.
I know now, since I've lapped full circle on the spending racetrack, luxury spending not only doesn't send a message to other people, it doesn't add anything of significance to your life. I acknowledge, it's much easier to understand this since I've lived at both ends of the spending spectrum, but you don't get any happier simply by spending more money.
And so, the reverse is true as well. You don't get any less happy when you spend less.
It won't make you unhappy to downsize your life in retirement. The truth is, you will naturally spend less money than you did when you were working, as this excellent post at The Boomer Chronicles points out. If you had a stressful job before you retired, you'll probably spend less in retirement since you aren't using shopping to self-medicate. And since you have more free time, you no longer have to pay someone else to do things you didn't have time to do when you were working so much.
Before I retired, I thought I might miss the spending level of my old lifestyle. I couldn't really have known until after I retired that it doesn't really matter to me at all. I lived on that cheese for years, and it's true, it was plain old Safeway Swiss.
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Cars seem particularly prone to that. I've known many people who had a perfectly good car and (for reasons that they often can't even articulate) decided to "upgrade."
I came dangerously close to it myself, when my car was 4 or 5 years old. I couldn't find a near car I liked better than my old car for less than $20,000, so I ended up keeping my old car. It lasted until it was 17.
Posted by: Philip Brewer | May 20, 2009 at 04:02 AM
Sydney,
More great, great observations ... Post-retirement, I am increasingly finding brand-poseurs so transparent and, frankly, very boring ...
Regards, Dennis
Posted by: Dennis | May 20, 2009 at 07:58 PM
Great thoughtful post, Syd. Since I am a "thrifter" I find that much of my shopping can be compared to the thrill of the hunt. There is nothing like it when you find that item you've been looking for(to replace a worn out item) and look, it's 25% of what I would pay retail!
Posted by: Judy | May 24, 2009 at 06:32 AM
a thoughtful post, as always.
Posted by: fern | May 26, 2009 at 12:20 PM