The second year of retirement is already proving to be very different than the first. You may have noticed it by the decrease in frequency of my posts. All that time I previously spent contemplating the transition to retirement I now spend in action. There is absolutely no time for navel-gazing. Now that I'm firmly in the actually-living-it phase, I don't have time to think anymore!
That's why I found this blurb from
Fortune Magazine to be so amusing today. In contemplating the non-financial reasons that "even before 2008, the long-term trend toward earlier retirements had started to reverse," the explanation was that "it's extremely boring. We have built a fantasy in our minds that 20 years of free time is a dream come true. It's not."
The article continues, "Every study that's been done on this subject shows that more than half the retired population feels disoriented and depressed. They don't feel as productive and connected as they once felt. According to A.C. Nielsen, they're watching an average of 46 hours of television a week. The people who seem the happiest and the most comfortable with their maturity are those who by and large are still working."
So where are these bored, depressed retirees? If "every study" shows this to be true, then gosh, I guess it must be true. But I'm not encountering any of these unhappy retirees in my writing classes, in my bocce ball league, in my travels, or in the emails I receive from folks that read my blog.
Perhaps it's because the unhappy ones are home in front of the TV bringing up that average. (If that's where they are,
I can guess why they are depressed, and it has nothing to do with not working. I'm now on month three of no cable news shows--apparently the only thing I've missed is some kerfuffle between David Letterman and Sara Palin. Please don't bother filling me in, I really don't want to know.)
Television watching aside, maybe I don't identify with the angst of not working because I AM still working. I may not be getting paid, but cleaning, gardening, exercising, managing the finances, and now devoting a huge chunk of my brainpower to travel planning, it all adds up to a full-time job!
In this second year of retirement the travel bug has taken a huge bite into me and I'm ready to be on the move as much as possible. When you are trying to wedge as much travel as you can into a fixed retirement budget, you have indeed created a full-time occupation for yourself. When I had a job, I had more money than time, so I booked the trips, paid the money, and then simply showed up.
Now that I'm not sitting at my desk at work, getting paid so that I can escape for two weeks on vacation, I have all that time in the hammock with my laptop to find ways to travel on the cheap. And believe me, I am spending all those hours doing just that.
Besides scouring the corners of the internet looking for travel deals, I'm working on my own deals for free lodging by swapping my home with other travelers, calculating the most economic use of my airline miles, and prowling for last minute deals.
How I'm expected to have time to do all that, see friends, keep up my blog, read books, AND watch the requisite 46 hours per week of television, I have no idea.
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Syd,
Excellent post. As always. A point, however, that needs to be addressed is 'age difference'. You're still in your 40's. Most retirees are in their 60's and above and they might not be as agile as you are. You're able to do all those wonderful things: travel, bocce, etc. Most elderly people can not.(thus the TV)
Plus, you're only into the retirement game for 2 years. Wait 10 years or so and we can re-address the issue. I retired 8 years ago at the age of 50 and found myself caught in a strange scenario. I was too young to be with 'real' retirees who where in their 60's. I was too old to be with the 40'ish crowd (most had young children) and I couldn't find any other 50 year old person with time on their hands like I had. Plus, there was the 7 year age difference with my spouse: he was younger than me and did not want to do the things that I wanted to do.
Thankfully things have improved (DH is more open to do things I want to do now) but it has been a long wait.
It's funny you mentioned 'travel'. I'm into that mode also. Somehow, I've just re-gotten the bug and have decided 'dam it all, I'm going to Europe every year and to hell with the retirement fund!' I know I should have gone more in my 20's and 30's and had a blast. I'll just have to make do with going in my late 50's and 60's. I'm still agile enough to walk and climb and see and do. Most 60+ year olds are not so fortunate.
I'm not happy with cutting back, making do with less and downshifting. After a while it bothers the hell out of me. For example: we are going to stay in Monasteries in Europe rather than a hotel to save money. You must be back at the Monastery by 11PM or the doors will be shut and you can't get back in. (the nuns are strict). That means no late nights out, no dancing....why is this happening to me? Because my fundsarelow! And I have to make do with less. or God forbid.....go back to work! No thanks. I console myself and say 'well, at least you're in Sorrento and the view is amazing'. During the day! LOL.
As for watching TV, I gave up cable. But I like to follow the politics of America. Now that I have time on my hands, I have been thrilled to learn all about American History and how our America runs. I find it to be a fascinating subject and I enjoy 'discussing' politics with both my American friends and my Italian relatives. I also follow Italian politics. You think we are crazy? Ha!
I don't like keeping my head in the sand. I want to know what is going on in the financial world as well as our government. I don't want to be one of those people who woke up on September 12, 2001 and wanted to know why we weren't warned or told about the dangers of the world. Nor did I want to wake up and say 'hey! where'd my money go?' I knew in 2000-2001, around the dot com disaster that getting out of debt AND the stock market was a prudent thing to do. Thus, I was able to actually retire young and live a fairly decent life.
I also know that my retirement couldn't have been so successful if my husband wasn't working. I had estimated that I needed $50K in retirement to sustain my somewhat simple lifestyle. I never could have calculated what transpired in the economy despite my intellect. I own 3 properties and their equities have been reduced. Ditto for my investments. Dividends and interest payouts have been drastically reduced. DH works and his salary makes up the difference. But I wonder how many other retirees have the same benefits? Which leads me to conclude that retirement today must contain some employment in order to keep pace with rising costs and dwindling savings.
All combined, we're living on $35K a year and sometimes, it really gets to me. I don't like it! It's difficult. And the only solution would be for me to return to work (NEVER!) or for somehow our investments to improve (not likely so far). DH only works 2-3 days a week. I could never ask him nor would I, to work more.
You can downsize till you turn blue in the face. Eventually you reach the point of no return (literally). Then what?
Posted by: morrison | June 13, 2009 at 07:13 AM
I don't think human beings will stay happy very long if they aren't doing something they feel is fulfilling to them. Whether someone is happier after retirement is ultimately likely to hinge on whether they can find something that they are passionate about doing. If you replace work with watching television for 46 hours a week (very close to the average work week, right?!?) then that sure doesn't seem like a recipe for happiness.
This is especially true if you were reasonably passionate about whatever work you were doing before you retired, or if you were especially cognizant of providing for yourself or your family in spite of the fact that your work wasn't all that interesting. Hence, I'm not convinced that there (unfortunately) aren't a lot of retirees that are bored. However, in most cases, that is their decision to be bored. Nobody is forcing them to watch TV and putter around the garage all day.
The investment advice in the article was not unreasonable, but the general slant about retirement seemed to be that people assume 20 years of free time is a dream, but since it's not, then people ought to continue working longer so that the big block of free time was only, say, 10 years. I think a better slant would be to try to help people understand why sitting around all day is not a dream, and then to help them discover things that they could be passionate about that they otherwise would not be able to accomplish while working 40-50 hours a week. Then start working toward it!
I also think people often confuse retirement with vacation. When you have been working 60 hours a week for a few months, you need a VACATION. Having a week or two of totally free time with perhaps no real commitments is wonderful. Lounging at the pool or vegging in front of the TV for a few hours is relaxing and a good time-out from the past exertion (physical or mental). However, you will quickly tire of that. For some people, that comes after one weekend. For others, it comes after a week or a month, but for everyone, it does come reasonably quickly. Then what? The Fortune article confuses things when it assumes that people dream of "20 years of free time". People don't need a 20 year vacation.
Posted by: S. B. | June 13, 2009 at 08:48 AM
Yes, I can see that you must have something to do in retirement- or maybe the problem is the term retirement itself? It implies so many things in people's minds. I have found that I need a task to keep my mind somewhat occupied while taking care of baby and am all the better for it. I have kept my hand in my work (am self-employed) a few hours a month, and I notice I am less bored and less frustrated than some other moms I know. In retirement I could see there are even things I would like to do that are work-related but wouldn't bring in any income.
Have fun travel planning!
Posted by: Wooly Woman | June 13, 2009 at 08:50 AM
Morrison, S.B. and Wooly Woman: Thanks for all your insightful comments. I think you've hit it on the head Wooly Woman--what the term "retirement" really means. I've long held that all it means is not working for pay anymore. All those other things people have attached to the term (i.e., sitting around doing nothing, relaxing, golfing, etc.) those are some people's ideas of retirement, but the only universal that applies, really, is not working full-time for pay.
What you decide to do with all that time, I think, makes the difference between a happy retiree and an unhappy one. As SB points out, you have to feel like you are doing something you are passionate about, something that means something to you, and I just don't think 46 hours of TV will do that for you (at least not for me.)
I will say one thing about Morrison's comments, though. As I said in my post, I am not running in the same circles as the unhappy retirees. Also, I am not running in the same circles as many 40 year old retirees. The average age on my bocce ball team is 70--and that's with me bringing in the low age and June bringing in the high at 87! (And Bocce is only a part-time thing for her, golf is her real passion, which she plays 3 days a week!)
The average age of my writing class is 65, again, I'm bringing in the low age at 45. Bottom line is age is less important than state of mind. My retired dad who is 72 still plays tennis several times a week, works on his own yard AND his own remodeling--added on to his kitchen last year and did most of the work himself! He and my step mom are traveling about 3 months of the year-on a shoe-string budget--I'm learning my bargain-hunting tips from them!
People in their 60's these days (and I would say 70's too) are more active than decades ago. Sure they slow down a bit (don't we all), but I think those that are staying physically active and mentally stimulated are much more likely to be in the happy-retiree group. I DON'T think it's necessary to be in your 40's to be happy being retired.
As far as hanging out with people my own age, that's something I don't even notice. My best friend is (well, gosh, I can't even tell you how old she is--I always forget--late 50's, pushing 60?) and I think of us as the same age. Same with all the 60, 70 and 80 year old youngsters I hang out with these days. Who cares what our actual ages are?
Thanks for the interesting discussion from all of you!
Posted by: Retired Syd | June 13, 2009 at 10:47 AM
Excellent post, as usual Syd. Parallels a lot of my experience. Now that I am in year 2 of my retirement and 52 years old, I too am just finding a different pace of life, especially since my wife continues to work for now. But I find I am calmer, more reflective, more interested in ideas and not rushing around. I am sure things will continue to evolve, but so far, it's like night and day from the artificial world of work. I appreciate the beauty around us every day and I guess I just feel a lot more grateful about things.
Posted by: Dennis | June 13, 2009 at 10:10 PM
My parents are 80 & 81 and I have blossomed since retiring 15 yhears ago. They swim every morning, then potter around the shops, after lunch a little snooze and then some gardening. They go on holiday several times a year (they were the oldest on the plane to Crete for our holidays last year)and out to lunch usually once a week. Seems like they have the perfect routine to me. The just got back from house/dog sitting for my brother for two weeks. I tihk they are just glad of some quality time togther after 59 years married.
Lizzie
Posted by: Lizzie | June 14, 2009 at 05:14 AM
As you know, I had a short period (one month) of "enforced non-working" due to heart surgery. I was rather shocked at how quickly boredom set in. And it scared me for my future retirement (I'm 60). But I love reading your blog and seeing how you're handling your retirement--it gives me hope for mine. BTW, I agree with Morrison that one should do what one wants to do in retirement (i.e. travel) though perhaps in a modified form (staying in monasteries rather than luxe hotels). What occurs to me is that retirement clearly takes more planning than some folks put into it.
Posted by: Grace | June 14, 2009 at 09:38 AM
Good post. I love your blog. I think those retirees sitting in front of the TV *are* bringing up those numbers. I have several such retired family members. I believe you're a rare case.
Posted by: Chris | June 15, 2009 at 05:51 AM
Grace: I can see how people that retire in ill-health would be bored out of their minds. When I first retired, I kept getting bad colds and did not have the energy to do any of the things I wanted to do. (Although, I suppose if you're in ill-health, working wouldn't be too fun either!)
Anyway, I think you'll find actual retirement to be VERY different than recuperating from cardiac surgery! When you are healthy and have the energy to do what you want to be doing, I think it's much harder for boredom to set in.
Posted by: Retired Syd | June 17, 2009 at 10:34 AM
Chris: Now you've made me curious about the retirees I AM meeting. I may have to do an informal poll among my bocce ball team members and my fellow writing class students to see how much TV they are watching (I'm guessing they are bringing DOWN the average!) Thanks for reading and especially for your comment.
Posted by: Retired Syd | June 17, 2009 at 10:47 AM
as always, a thoughtful post which i enjoyed reading.
Posted by: fern | June 17, 2009 at 01:56 PM
My mother used to say, most people are about as happy as they set out to be.
Thanks for a great post and discussion, Syd.
Posted by: Judy | June 22, 2009 at 06:27 AM
Morrison,
We stayed at a monastery in Rome and we were locked in at 11:00 pm. But we were too tired because we walked for 5 hours straight and were jet lagged so we didn't even feel like staying out late. (we were in our 40s then). The price at 40 dollars a night was well worth it. I could tell you the story of loosing track of my Mom at the airport in Rome and then having her pounding on the monastery door at midnight but that might be for another blog. ;) The nuns kindly took in in their stride. Traveling is fun and unpredictable.
Bon Voyage.
Posted by: Leslie | June 23, 2009 at 11:32 AM
Hi! I like this post. And I can't help but share my thoughts. My Dad retired at the age of 60. For one whole year, he just stayed at home and had quality time with my mom and some of his children who are not yet married. But then , he started to feel the boredom. He decided to have something productive to do. And oh by the way, he also likes gardening. But then he wants more - so he opened a small convenient store near our house. And then he likes it and enjoyed every minute of it, my Mother sometimes joins him. And they were both happy. My mom now is in heaven. My Dad is 85 years old now, still straight back, strong grip and vibrantly healthy. But he gave up his convenient store when my mom died. And now, my Dad enjoys travelling from one country to another. When I retire, I wanted it to be like that too. :-)
Posted by: Translation Chicago | October 20, 2009 at 08:56 AM
@Translation: Thanks for sharing that. It's great to hear stories of retirees taking control of their happiness by figuring out what they need to have pleasure and meaning in their lives. It's often hard to know what that will be until you live in retirement for some time, getting your sea legs, but if you go where you hear yourself wanting to go, there's no telling where it will take you.
Posted by: Retired Syd | October 20, 2009 at 09:07 AM
You're welcome Syd! Thanks for your post too. Enjoy your life, you only have one. Be happy and stay healthy. :-)
Posted by: Translation Chicago | October 20, 2009 at 09:21 AM