Blogging in the Real World

I have this one reader that is always telling me my life is miserable.  I write about how much fun I had at the Yankees game and she tells me that I couldn’t possibly be happy sitting in the cheap seats and eating hot dogs.  I write about my travel adventures swapping lovely homes with very nice people, and she tells me how I couldn’t possibly be happy sleeping in other people’s beds.  I write about how I am surprised to see how much less my retirement is costing me, and she tells me I couldn’t possibly be happy living on what I’m living on. 

The thing I love about blogging is the conversational aspect of it.  It feels great when I’ve connected with a reader that says, “Oh my gosh I experienced that exact same thing!”  I also enjoy when someone says, “I get what you’re saying, but have you considered this?”  I often get a new perspective on something based on what one of you has added to the conversation.  Or even “I could never do that, that wouldn’t make me happy.”  Each of us is different, I have come to appreciate that, in part from my experience blogging. 

Even some of the hard-to-take commenters, whom I’ve made angry because of something I’ve written, can be helpful.  Back during the presidential campaign season, I shared a number of my political observations.  One reader told me she didn’t come here to hear me spout my political opinions.  I initially thought, “my blog, my content”.  But she was right.  This is a blog about retirement and that’s what I want to keep it about.  Writing about my retirement experiences, both the joys and the struggles, that’s what I want to share, and that’s what I want others to share with me.

But I do find it frustrating when a reader tells me I feel something that I do not feel.  Not so much because I totally disagree, but because it makes me feel like my writing hasn’t been clear.  If someone tells me they can’t take “advice” from me because I won’t share my finances, I wonder why they even thought I was giving advice in the first place?  And when someone admonishes me by saying that there are no short-cuts, no get-rich-quick schemes, no easy ways out, I wonder what I wrote that makes them think I disagree? 

I was recently struck by a thought in this post, “What’s in a Nudge?”  In this post a man comes to realize the impact his “nudge” has had on the career of his secretary:

“Afterward, he wondered how often he nudged people for good things and worried about when he may have nudged them negatively. A remark here, a raised eyebrow there, and before you know it you may have affected someone’s life.”

I recently left a comment on a blog post about health savings accounts, not really a controversial subject.  After reading my comment again (after I hit the button), I realized my “nudge” was in a negative direction.  It may feel like an anonymous environment, this whole blogosphere, but I clearly offended the blogger with my tone.  I regret that.  I’m going to make sure my nudges are for good things in the future.

This is an article from Retirement:  A Full-Time Job

Comments

[Chris]

Syd, I've run into people who think that happy people are delusional. They can't be as happy as they think they are. What else is happiness except a mind state? If you think you are happy, you are. If you think you are having fun, you are.

[Deliriously Happy in Mommydom]

All I can say Syd is that every 'nudge' I have ever received from you has been a positive one in case you are taking inventory (and that's what I love about them!)

[Redired Syd'sdad]

Syd:

Remember what your dad has always said? "Life is too important to be taken seriously."

[jacqjolie]

I've offended someone myself with one of my posts. He was so gracious that I felt like the lowest of worms. Definitely learned a good lesson that time, took the post down and emailed him a lengthy apology. I don't know though, if you don't sometimes make people think and are a bit controversial, is that doing anybody any good? I wouldn't want to just be preaching to the choir all the time - it just seems kind of boring to me.

[Retired Syd]

@Chris: Well, there you go!

@Delirious: From you, the queen of positive nudges. You know what they say about what goes around . . .

@Retired Dad: Yeah, but what if they're not getting the joke?

@Jacqjolie: Well, yes, but sometimes you wind up being controversial when all you thought you were doing was preaching to the choir!

[Jobs on Yachts]

Don't mind people who are just giving you a heartache,they don't even know the true meaning of happiness .I do love blogger/blogs because that's the only place where I can somehow find different thoughts and opinions .

[lacking ambition]

Some people are just miserable and simply won't allow themselves to be anything but. I find ignoring and avoiding them is the best course of action. Life's too short.

[Early Retirement Extreme]

Same problem here. My "problem" is that I tend to track incoming url refs which occasionally leads to offsite comments like "That Jacob over at ERE lives a miserable life. Who wants to live like that. How can you be financially independent when your wife works and pays your health insurance and you live in an RV. What a joke.". Then I feel compelled to write an angry rant that 1) I pay my own insurance. 2) Whether wifey works or not has nothing to do with the matter. And 3) Not everybody's ego is directly connected with the stuff they buy.

After a recent bout though, when some of my regular readers didn't like the tone of those rants, I decided to fix the problem by simply switching off offsite tracking. My regular readers are more important than random people who read a few posts, draw some wrong conclusions and then go off and write about elsewhere.

Ignorance is a bliss and besides ... what can I really do?

[Donna Freedman]

I have had readers insist that I can't possibly be happy because I live frugally. What they don't understand is that not everybody is happy in the same way, and that I can still be content even if I don't have all the toys they have.
It used to make my head hurt. Now it just amuses me.

[Retired Syd]

@Donna: I look forward to someday not having my head hurt and just being amused . . .

[Alice Leighton]

Being retired didn’t become a hindrance to your success! I admire you for that… However, you should widen your reach as well. There are more opportunities for you online. It would help you not feel so bored and earn at the same time. Your writings are good and it can surely be a good article to sponsor!