Retirement: A Full-Time Job

Guilty Feet

Posted in Wellness Wednesdays

So I’m feeling a little guilty because I didn’t actually tell my part-time employer that I’m in Hawaii this week.  I really only go to the office a day or two a week and I was there on Monday, so I’m not sure they will even notice I’m gone.  As long as I have an Internet connection, whether I’m home or out of town is kind of irrelevant to them.  But this year I already spent a week in Hawaii, two in Canada, and then three in Australia.  And that’s not counting a few quick trips to Las Vegas sprinkled in here and there.  So I’m kind of embarrassed to tell them I’m skipping town again.

Guilt notwithstanding, it does seem that I’ve cracked the code.  All those years of working I resented only being able to travel three weeks a year (a few more when I worked somewhere where I could game the system).   Then when I retired, I finally had the time to get out of town a lot more frequently.  But here I am now with the best of both worlds, a little extra income to finance more frequent trips AND the time to take them! 

Now guilt has no place in a healthy retirement and exercise definitely does, so I’m off to take a long walk on the beach now.  It’s just my health I’m thinking about.

 

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Home Exchange for Beginners

 

Posted in Traveling Tuesdays

As I mentioned last week we invited ourselves to Hawaii with a couple of friends this week.  This is not our first tag-along vacation.  I’ll be the first to admit, we are extremely lucky to have some very generous friends.  But for those of you that draw the line at imposing on your friends, there is another way to score some free lodging:  home exchange.

After all, your house is just going to sit empty while you are on vacation, why not go to another person’s empty house while they enjoy yours?  If you are exploring this option, here’s my short list of tips for the first-time home exchanger.

1.  There are many reputable sites on-line to find home exchanges.  The one I like the most is homeexchange.com because they have the largest number of listings and you have to pay to join.  Actually, you only have to pay if you want to create a page to market your own home.  You can email anyone with a listing you like when you browse for the site for free, but I’ll just tell you I never respond to those inquiries.   For one thing, I find some comfort in knowing that the site has your credit card and knows your identity.  If you just email me and don’t even have a listing for me to peruse, I not only don’t think you are serious, I don’t even know if you are real.

2.  When you do find a homeowner that you’d like to approach for a trade, write a personal note explaining why you found their home attractive, share your plans for your trip, and tell a little bit about yourself.  This is a chance to highlight a few great things about your house and things to enjoy in your area as well.  If you do wind up trading homes with this family, you are going to spend months building a relationship.  You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression.

3.  When you are browsing listings on the website, keep in mind that the actual home will never look better than the photos your exchanger has posted on their exchange page.   If you have any reservations after viewing the photos, you probably won’t be comfortable there.

4.   I recommend practicing with a local trade, just to get your feet wet.  Go away for the weekend somewhere that’s not too far away.  If it’s not exactly what you bargained for, at least it’s only two days and you will come away with a better idea of what you are looking for next time.

5.  During the course of building your home-exchange relationship, you should work out how you expect to leave each other’s homes.  Just strip the beds or remake them too?  Where does the trash go?  No matter what they say about how to leave their house, just remember, no one will ever fault you if you leave it tidier than they expected.

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Related Posts:

            Intro to the Home Exchange Vacation

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Picturing Retirement: Coco-sitting

Photo Friday:  My neighbors are out of town for the holiday week so I get to spend a little quality time with Coco each day while they are gone.  Today we watched a couple hours of television together.  Studies have shown that petting a cat brings blood pressure levels down, which is very helpful when watching the talking head "news" shows.

(To submit your picture of retirement, email me a photo with how you would like it credited.)

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Heaven on Earth

Posted in Happiness

I saw this movie a while ago called Wristcutters:  A Love Story.  I’m not recommending it, it really wasn’t that good.  But on this day, the day that I contemplate what I’m most thankful for, I thought of this movie.

It’s set in a surreal afterlife where the people that commit suicide wind up, stay with me here.  This afterlife doesn’t look like heaven or hell; it’s just a place that looks a lot like our normal life, except that everything is just ok.  The pizza tastes ok, your apartment is just ok, your job is just ok--not terrible but not wonderful either.  Just ok.  Even the cinematography adds to the view that everything is kind of blah.

Even though that movie was technically a love story, and not really a lesson on how we should live our lives, I went away with a lesson anyway.  It occurred to me that lots of people live the life they have right now like that Wristcutter’s afterlife, viewing everything as not good enough.  Not terrible but not great either.  

I happen to think the life I’m living is pretty much heaven.  I’m making the most of it because I think of it as a great gift, and I'm grateful for it.  Whether or not you believe that there is another life after this, why not be sure to enjoy this one, appreciate it, relish it.  You know, just in case.

Hoping you all have a wonderful holiday enjoying the company of the ones you love.

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Middle-Age Fitness

Posted in Wellness Wednesdays

Most of you have probably heard that we lose muscle mass as we age.  But according to this article in the New York Times, this is not an inevitable outcome.  It’s kind of a use-it-or-lose-it thing.

As you know, I’ve decided to use it.  I did that whole P90X thing and definitely got stronger by the end of the 90 days.  It was a tough regimen.  I was committed but it was tough.  Was it worth it?  Well, I’m not really sure.

While I know I got stronger, as evidenced by the amount of weight I could lift and number of repetitions I could perform by the end of the program, it’s probably not a routine I will keep up.  It’s a little bit of torture, not total agony, but definitely extremely hard work.  I really don’t think I can keep up that level of intensity.

Well, I’m not alone.  According to this study, middle-aged women are happier, and more apt to keep up their exercise routine with moderate exercise rather than a vigorous regimen.  "The study found that moderate intensity exercise caused more women to report later that they were in a better mood and to have greater feelings of energy, psychological wellbeing and ‘self-efficacy.’"  Most interestingly, the boost in mood was not as great for those that exercised more vigorously.

Now, I don’t care to know the technical definition of middle-aged, but I do know that I was much happier walking a moderately paced five to eight miles over the course of a day on my Australian vacation than I was doing P90X over the course of a mere hour at home.  And I don’t think it was just because I was on vacation.   It was because it didn’t feel like exercise.  It didn’t feel like a chore.  The study's lead researcher pointed out, “Exercise makes you feel better but it is going to be more pleasant when performed at moderate intensity as compared to vigorous.”  Well of course, exercise is more pleasant if it doesn’t actually feel like exercise!

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The Accidental Tourist

Posted in Traveling Tuesdays

Well, it’s official.  We have no shame.  I blame the wine. 

Last weekend we went to a wedding.  It was a wonderful, intimate gathering of only about 30 guests.  My friends got married on their 11^th anniversary of being together on 11/11/11.  The whole event captured the couple’s personality, a short, heart-felt ceremony, handmade rings, and a gourmet dinner in a totally rustic setting, all while overlooking a stunning stretch of untouched Northern California coastline.  

We enjoyed the romance of the evening while enjoying the company of two other couples that we really love.  During the course of the evening, we invited ourselves to Hawaii with one of them, the week after next.  (Just to be clear--not the bride and groom.  Even I draw the line at crashing honeymoons.)

It started innocently enough, the casual proclamation, “You should come with us!” after describing the boondoggle that would be their accommodations for the week.  One of his clients gave them his two-bedroom penthouse overlooking a beach in Maui.  (Yes!  Pictured above--can you blame me?)

            “Don’t tempt me, ‘cause Doug and I will crash your vacation.  Believe me, we’ve done it before!”

            “No, it would be so much fun, we could play tennis, hike, and drink martinis on the Lanai!” 

We spent the whole evening talking about how great it would be, and whether the martinis would have gin or vodka.

But even with all the wine, at the end of the evening I offered, “When you wake up tomorrow, totally sober, if you think the better of this we will TOTALLY understand.  Don’t give it another thought.”

But alas, the next morning we got the sober confirmation.  We’ll join them for the first few days of their trip.  On a flight that arrives at the same time, for free with frequent flyer miles, on days that we are free—all the stars were in alignment. 

I hope they’ll have as much fun with us as we know we will have with them!

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In Praise of Work (Sort Of)

Posted in Money Mondays

As I’ve mentioned before, I really have been loving my part-time consulting gig.  It’s hard to understand why, because when I was enjoying full-time retirement, I didn’t miss working at all.  But a couple of Penelope Trunk’s recent posts have shed some light on the subject for me.

The first was a post about loneliness, with a link to this New York magazine article that explains the value of “weak ties” in preventing loneliness.  I’ve written before about the importance of strong social networks to a happy and healthy retirement.  But according to this article, “You need relationships that provide love and intimacy and you need relationships that help you feel like you’re participating in society in some way.”  I hadn’t really considered that before, the value of weak ties. 

I knew that I enjoyed the social aspect of my old job, and I continue to enjoy strong friendships with two of my ex-coworkers.  But the rest of those work relationships were of the weaker type, folks I don’t really keep up with these days.  It wasn’t until I formed some new relationships like those at my current part-time job that I understood how much I get from those weaker ties.  The days I go into the office I get a charge, I feel happy and energized when I get home.  And according to this article, I’m not imagining it, “there is evidence that weak ties simply make us feel better.”

It’s also true that in retirement, you have to engage in activities that are meaningful to you.  And of course that’s true for working people too.  Penelope Trunk’s other post was about how to make your work more meaningful, and again, much of it has to do with relationships.  The feelings that you are contributing to a team, that you are helping people, that you are making a difference, help to create meaning in your work.  “You will feel good at work if you are making your boss happy—it’s a symbiotic relationship.”

Every job has its bumps in the road, of course.  And usually people accept the bumps because aside from these benefits of work, there’s also the money.  And most people need that, so they have to accept the bad with the good because of the money.

Last week I hit one of those bumps.  I had a really negative email exchange with someone outside of the company, to be more precise, a total jerk.  And since I’m retired, although maybe not technically, the thought occurred to me that I don’t need this crap.   Are the benefits of making a contribution and a connection with the team at work worth enduring the bumps when the need for money is removed? 

The day after my negative experience I popped into the office for a staff meeting.  We all enjoyed a bit of wine, discussed a bit of work, and had a bit of fun together.  So I guess the answer, at least for now, is that the benefits are bigger than the bumps. 

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Building a Relationship with Your Home Exchange Partners

Posted in Traveling Tuesdays.

A couple of weeks ago, we had a really great time at dinner with some old friends in their beautiful home in the Seacliff neighborhood in San Francisco.  Actually, it wasn’t dinner, it was drinks, and I guess they are more of new acquaintances than old friends, and really, it wasn’t even their house.  But we did have a great time.

The old friends to whom I refer are really more like Internet friends.  We met them through home-exchange last year.  I contacted them a few years ago to see if they wanted to swap their lovely Upper East Side home in New York City with us for a month.  They declined since they already had plans that year, but said they love month-long trades and maybe next year.

A few months later they contacted us.  Their son was getting married in the Napa Valley wine country, and they wanted to come out for three weeks for the festivities.  We talked on the phone about our plans.  A few weeks later, their son and his bride-to-be, who live in San Francisco, came over for a glass of wine.  Turns out they were budding home-exchangers too.  They live in the trendy Marina district—where we’ve now spent two weekends on home-exchanges.

A few months ago, I got another hankering for NYC so I lobbed an email to my new old friends in New York.  I said I knew it was a long way off, but to keep us in mind if they were up for an exchange in summer of 2012.  I got an immediate response, their son and daughter-in-law were expecting a baby in a couple months, so they would love to set plans for a visit next year.  In the meantime, they came out this year to admire the new addition to their family, whom we also met over not-really-dinner at not-really-their-house. 

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