The Absence of Hurry

The first couple of years of my retirement, I felt from time to time as if I had retired from my professional career simply to become a housecleaner and gardener.  There were times when I questioned whether this trade was really worth it.

A few years later when I re-entered the workforce on a part-time basis, I started to appreciate that trade-off a little more.  I realized that while I was indeed still laboring when I did housework, it sure was a lot less stressful than the labor that someone else pays you to do.  That’s why yesterday when I spent the afternoon deep cleaning a bathroom that hadn’t seen that kind of clean in years, I didn’t mind so much.  Because this time I appreciated how wonderful it is to have the extra time, even if some of that extra time isn’t always spent on the most exciting of endeavors.

In fact, I spend a lot of my extra time in ways that many people might not appreciate the appeal of.

Sleep

I enjoy at least one more hour of sleep each night than when I was working.  And that’s not even counting the hour most nights that I was up at 3am worrying about work.  Besides that, most days I take a little nap too.  When I’m tired, I sleep.  If I don’t feel like getting up yet, I don’t. 

Housework and Gardening

Ok, I know some of you are thinking, “I’m going to retire just so I can squeeze more sleep, housework, and gardening in?  Not for me.”  And for many of my retired blogger friends, the housecleaner is a non-negotiable budgetary item.  For me the trade-off is worth it.  For the annual cost of a housecleaner Doug and I could spend a week in a fancy resort in Hawaii.  For the cost of a gardener, a less extravagant week at an all-inclusive resort in Mexico.  I’ll take the beach any day, even if it means scrubbing my own toilets.

I will share a tip for those that share my priorities.  I no longer do the hours-long cleaning or gardening sessions that were usually saved for the days immediately preceding visitors.  Now, I spend an hour each day taking care of one house cleaning or gardening item.  It all adds up to a relatively clean house and manicured garden all the time, minus the back aches. 

Yoga

There is really no excuse for the fact that I hadn’t been to yoga at all during the two years of my part-time job.  Priorities again I guess.  But part of the reason is that this is basically a three-hour venture.  With almost a half an hour commute each way for the hour-and-a-half class, followed by a shower, we’re talking about a three-hour chunk of my day. 

All the other stuff

If you’re keeping up with the math so far, I’ve just spent six hours of a full-time work day, and I haven’t even done anything really revolutionary.  For those that fantasized about having so much more time in retirement, this may be a little depressing.  Basically only two hours left for all the other stuff:  reading, volunteering, seeing friends, taking classes, planning trips, and enjoying whatever hobbies you thought you’d be enjoying in retirement.

It’s not a whole lot of extra time is it?  It hardly seems worth it.  But here’s the thing.  All of your time now is missing something, something that makes it totally worth it.  The thing your time excludes now is hurrying.   Sure you might lose time to more sleep, more housework, more lollygagging over breakfast.  But that’s because you have time to lollygag.  And best of all, while you’re not hurrying, you’re also not thinking about work, not during yoga, and not at 3am when you should be sleeping.

Related Posts

            Retirement:  Where Are Those Extra Hours?

            The Truth About Retirement

            The Perfect Day in Retirement

 

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Comments

[Scott]

Thanks Syd! Naps are one of the small things I look forward to when I do retire. For now, it's just on the weekends oh but I do enjoy not only the nap itself but also the freedom to take one!

Also, nothing aggravates me more than when I'm out on a nice long walk on my time and a work problem/thought/issue pops into my head. grrrrrr... And worse than that, if happens at 3AM. It is very difficult to stop/prevent this from happening. Look so forward to this not happening.

Lollygagging, YES I do want the luxury of being a lollygagger!!!

[Jacq]

I would like to retract my earlier statements about work being better than housecleaning. At least with housecleaning, I can adjust the materiality level as I see fit. :-)

Every. Freaking. Monthend. I wake up for about 3 days straight at 3-4 a.m. at the current contract. I haven't done this for about 10 years so it's not work itself that does it, it's particular jobs and their level of overwhelm.

When we were camping last summer, I was on a totally natural sleep schedule like I've never had before - or not for 35 or so years I guess. I managed to sleep for 8-10 hours a night *every* night - AND sometimes had a nap too. Even at home, there's always something to do, do, do whereas out there, there wasn't. The generator also wasn't working, so we had no electricity 95% of the time either. It was totally awesome. If anyone has kids or a S.O. they really want to connect and bond with, I recommend going somewhere where there is no electricity for awhile. Maybe not for 7 weeks like we did but it takes a good week or so to get into the groove.

[Retired Syd]

Scott: Yes, lollygagging is highly underrated!

Jacq: Yes, I remember it well, although I only had quarter-ends, not month ends. That's way too much overwhelm for sure!

Your camping sleep schedule is pretty close to my retirement sleep schedule--I was afraid that would be too shocking to print, but now I know I've got company.

[donna]

The freedom to use my time as I choose is one of the main joys of retirement. I also do yoga, but I use online classes. I love being able to do it as long as I want. When I am home I will frequently take an afternoon nap. And there is nothing like an extended tea break with a good book. Of course there will be scheduled days with lots
of activities, but for me it is the simple gift of time that make retirement so happy.

[fred doe]

Urgency; There is no urgency in my life at this time. I don't nab because I sleep eight hours, if I go to bed at 10:00 pm I wake at about 6:00 am. It takes time and cultivation to get to this point. My goal this year is to be the laziest man in Atlantic County New Jersey. Jacq a generator on a camping trip? BLASPHEMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Retired Syd]

Donna: Just woke up from my nap.

fred: And that was after 9 hours of sleep last night.

[Suzanne]

"The Absence of Hurry" is exactly what retirement feels like. Household chores, errands, etc. have no particular schedule but still manage to get done. Playtime is directed entirely by our desires rather than the availability of a free weekend. And spontaneity is a strange and wonderful new experience. We still have some "structure," in our lives but it is relaxed and highly flexible.

[Angela]

Love your posts Syd!
I retired last year after selling my Optometry practice at age 43. And by a strange turn of events, soon afterward I was offered a job teaching biology at our local college. For some reason, I still felt the need to work a few hours a day to justify my long nights of stress-free sleep, and then my 30 minute nap each afternoon. Fortunately, I love this new gig a thusand times more than I thought I would. And I feel fortunate to have stumbled upon it unwittingly, just by giving myself permission to leave my stressful job. Your blog helped me to feel better about just letting go and enjoying a simper life. Thank you for your inciteful, and witty, posts Syd. Someday, I will retire completely and not need to justify lolly gagging. But only when teaching isn't fun anymore. Thank you for encouraging us all to embrace our inner lolly gagger. People definitely need to hear that message more often. I think you are on the brink of starting a revolution!

[Angela]

Insightful... Not inciteful. Ha! Freudian slip?

[C.M. Cooper]

Hurry is one of the things we learn to deal with in the military. In fact, we are so good at it, when we are back in the civilian world, especially after retiring, it is rather hard to slow down. You have to keep busy, and with something really meaningful. After all, if it's trivial, why bother?
http://www.rcretirement.com

[Retired Syd]

Angela: That's a great success story! I totally get loving a new gig--good for you! Here's a little secret, you'll probably never get over the feeling of having to justify the lolly gagging. Small price to pay though. Keep doing what's fun for you--that's the best approach!

CM: I can imagine it's even harder to give up hurrying coming out of that environment. But remember, meaningful doesn't have to mean hurrying!

[Tamara]

Aargh, I'm really hating you all at the moment. It took me a year and a half after retiring to begin to sleep eight hours straight, but I finally got there . . . briefly. Since returning from our trip to China earlier this month, I've yet to see more than six hours of consistent sleep at a time.

Now we're here on the East Coast vacationing yet again, and I am up at 4:00 AM posting.

I know. It's a tough life. But I really would appreciate being able to get just a little more sleep.

[Diane]

What a timely post! I am retiring at the end of November. I can't wait for that "What work task should I be doing even thought it's Saturday?" feeling to evaporate. I'm sure it will take some time and other pressing things will take up a bit of the slack, but at least they will be MY things.

[Retired Syd]

Tamara: Well take comfort in the fact that at least you don't have to get up and go to work in the morning on a horrible night's sleep. I know your busy schedule might not allow this, but I recommend naps!

Diane: Congratulations, you're on the home stretch! I'll be curious to hear how the transition goes for you. December is probably a good first month. If you're like me, you're overwhelmed with things to do that month, now you don't have to worry about work on top of all that!

[Tamara]

I'm hoping it's due to being a woman of a certain age, meaning there's still hope I'll outgrow it. ;-)

[Jenn]

When I was only in my mid fifties my husband told me that my teaching job will kill me if I kept doing it. He urged me to retire, and when I did I was sleeping normal hours for the first time in my adult life. I had been taking large doses of hypertension meds, but after early retirement my bp went to excellent levels and I need no meds whatsoever. I totally treasure each day that I can relax and have control over my life. I am so lucky to have these amazing years (and of course to have my dear husband too)!