A couple of weeks ago, my husband Doug came home from biking with a friend and told me "I've got a secret I'm not supposed to tell you so act surprised when they tell you." I think he figured that since the secret was one that I would find out eventually (his wife is pregnant), it was kind of an exception to the secret-keeping rule. I said I would act surprised when they told me, and even worked out an act in my head.
A couple weeks later I was on. We were having lunch with Doug's biking buddy (DBB) and he asked me, "So, what do you think about three kids?"
I played dumb, "You mean three kids as a rule? I think it's a bad idea." I can get away with this, being someone that wants zero kids.
DBB looked perplexed. "Doug, didn't you tell her?"
I kept up the act, "Tell me what?"
He said "Dude, I thought you said you had to tell her!"
"Tell me what?" I said, "Now you have to tell me!"
DBB confessed they were having a third child.
I took off my sunglasses and stared him right in the eye, "Who's the daddy?" I said, "Because I know you just got the snip-snip."
"Well yes, we found out right before the snip-snip. Dude I can't believe you didn't tell her, you said you had to tell her!"
"Yeah," Doug said, "I did tell her."
He ratted me out! He not only can't keep a secret, he can't keep the secret that he didn't keep the secret! Men.
DBB did commend me on my performance, though, so that's worth something.