Yes, there is a Difference Between Men and Women

I just finished How to Retire Happy, Wild, and Free by Ernie J. Zelinski.  I really enjoyed this book.  There's so much in there to talk about but I'll start with the issue burning in my mind tonight.  He notes an interesting research study (the bold is my emphasis):

A research study released in 2001 by Cornell University psychologists found that, particularly for men, employment after official retirement is beneficial for their psychological well-being.  Those who retire from their primary career, but then find some sort of other work, are the happiest and suffer the least depression.  On the other hand, men who retire and don't go back to work experience the most unhappiness and depression.  Surprisingly, the researchers didn't find much difference for women who go back to work after retiring versus those who don't.  No reasons were given for this important difference between the sexes.

Well, you don't have to be a hot-shot researcher to figure this one out.  I'll give you the reason, men are boring.  That's right, you heard me; men are boring.  I suppose the more politically correct way to phrase this is "women tend to have more interests."  But here's the cold, hard truth:  women are just more interesting!

Just in the last 48 hours alone, three different men have told me that I will be bored with retirement within the first six months of being retired.  And that's about standard fare as far as my retirement discussions with the men-folk over the last year.  I have yet to have a woman say this to me.

Men golf.  That's about it.  Well there you go, I would be bored too if all I had to do with all those previously working hours is play golf. Oh, and by the way, they already get to do this activity DURING WORKING HOURS AND CALL IT WORK!  Why would they need to retire to do the only other activity they like doing when they can already do it while "working?"  (Oops, I am forgetting men also watch TV.  But need I point out that they are so bored watching TV that they can't even manage to stay on one channel longer than ten seconds--honestly, it's enough to make a person dizzy!)

Maybe if I got to shop, read, write, knit, sew, paint, study a foreign language, garden, play tennis, go to the gym and ride my bike during working hours and call it working I wouldn't feel the need to retire to have time to do these things either!  But alas, my employer does not allow me to pursue my hobbies while at work and call it work.

When I discuss my retirement with women, they usually launch into the zillions of things they would like to do if only they had more time.  Men just look puzzled by the prospect and ask me what the heck I will do to fill my time.  Sheesh!

Yeah, yeah, I know now I'm going to get a bunch of hate mail from all those men out there blogging about ways to become financially independent so they can retire at a young age.  As it is with gross generalizations, there probably are SOME men that have enough interests to keep them busy in retirement.  But I would bet you money that most of these men just want the ability to walk away from their jobs.  The truth is they are so defined by their jobs and have no other interests, they don't really want to actually quit their jobs.  They just want to have enough saved to be able to say "I'm walking," whether they would actually walk or not.

And yes, I'm sure there are a couple of boring women out there too, but as it is with gross generalizations, they will not be acknowledged here either.  

Comments

[Cheryl]

Syd, I love this book and I remember that passage that he wrote. I guess I won't start off by gloating about how fortunate I feel to be female (but I do feel fortunate). Instead, I wonder if this is because women have been given more permission to have interests outside of work for such a long time by society. I think that's changing, but I'm also struck by the differences between men and women that still exist. It's as though it's hardwired in our DNA somehow - that men find their identity in work and women find their identity in whatever they're doing!

To be a little indelicate here, many women (I won't say all) have more options because we aren't choking on our egos. And then there's Eckhart Tolle.

[Retired Syd]

There's probably something to that DNA argument too: think "multi-tasking." Ok, so they win on reading a map, but I think this is better anyway.

[Rebecca]

Can't wait to read about the many things you decide to do in retirement!

[Minerva]

I am as boring as a man. I know it. I was not exactly bored with my leisure early retirement exploring the countries around the Caribbean, but after less than a year I felt my brain shrinking and getting smooth at the same time. And mind is a horrible thing to waste... so I went back to work - different work, on different terms. I love working I love leisure - I can't live without any of those - so far...

[Retired Syd]

Oh no, I offended one of my female readers--I only meant to offend the men!

[Elizabeth]

Great post. Reminds me of my father. He's a government administrator. He works long hours and comes home and works more hours and then works with my mom on things like inventories and finances. I once asked him what his hobbies were, and after a lot of thought he said, "organizing things."

He's a lovely man.

[Minerva]

Too bad that your father, Elizabeth, is married. Otherwise I could have used him, definitively: I love delegating organizing things - the implementation of organizing, that is. Concepts I can do ;-)

[ronaldj]

in month 11 of retirement...do not have time to go back to "work"...i also read once if you are bored, it is because you are a boring person....ok, i have done several one and two day jobs for people, (i'm a carpenter) but each day i walk (3-5) miles, read, swim, visit with someone..work around the yard or garden at home ...a full time job-just don't have the time...can i afford to retire...the choise was not really mine-so times- put hay live poor and happy working live richer and happy retired...

[Jonathan Wolfinger]

I'm a single male, but I'm an exception in that I do have a lot of interests. I'm more worried that I'll get lonely in retirement. I like doing things but you can't always find someone to do them with.

[Retired Syd]

@Jonathan: A very legitimate concern, especially if many of your friends are still working.

But maybe some of the things you are interested in are opportunities to meet new people to do them with. One of my friends is really interested in Bridge. She and her husband joined a community Bridge group and now have a bunch of new friends they get together with once or twice a week for dinner and cards.

[Kelly Mac Donald]

I love reading your blog. I am planning to move on from my job and created a 5 year plan to be where you are. You make it sound great! thanks.

[Banjo Steve]

Love your tongue-in-cheek attitude in this blog and others. Of course, there is a germ of truth in there - just gotta keep the Battle of the Sexes firing on all cylinders......

[Retired Syd]

@Banjo Steve: Well, now that I've met a bunch of happily retired men (both in real life and in the blogosphere), I may have to retract!