Choosing Happiness

There are two types of people in the world, glass half-full people and glass half-empty people.  I'm a glass half-full person.  An optimist.  Someone that feels that luck is on her side, and appreciates it.  I know I may annoy the glass-half empty folks, but before you dismiss me as an over-the-top Pollyanna, consider the choice you are making.  It is actually a choice.

Being Lucky

Chris at Adventures in Capitalism writes in a recent post, The Four Secrets of Lucky People, "on some level, I always assumed that luck was either an illusion or a mystical force beyond comprehension.  It turns out, however, that scientists have shown that luck exists.  Moreover, they know how you can be lucky."

He includes the link to a very interesting Newsweek Article.  Professor Richard Wiseman, author of the book, The Luck Factor, "has devoted a decade to exploring the secrets of serendipity."  Wiseman explains that "lucky people usually are more laid-back and open to life's possibilities . . . while unlucky people are more uptight, nervous and closed off."

Fortunately, " ' Luck is not a magical ability or a gift from the gods,' Wiseman writes.  'Instead it is a state of mind--a way of thinking and behaving'."

Apparently, we have far more control over our luck than we realize. "Above all, your mindset makes the difference."  You'll have to go read those links to learn about the four habits of lucky people.

Being Optmistic

In Dan Baker's book, What Happy People Know, he prescribes the antidote to the uhappy brain:  appreciation.  How we view a situation is not out of our control.  We have a choice.  Being grateful, seeing the silver linings, appreciating the good; these are all choices:

• Bad News--Housing Market:  My house is worth several thousand dollars less than what we purchased it for five years ago.  It may drop even further.  I'm an optimist though, I do think it will eventually turn around.  I could let myself get caught up in worry and fear, or perhaps sell my home and wait out the decline in a rental.  Instead, I choose to focus on the fact that I want to live in this house for a very long time, regardless of the value. 

• Silver Lining:  I can benefit from the decline in value right now, by saving several thousand dollars on my property tax bill this year.  That's real money, not just paper money on a balance sheet, real dollars in my bank account.  

• Bad News--Stock Market:  The value of our retirement portfolio has dropped even more than our home has.  We may be in for some further declines, but I'm optimistic that things will turn around, eventually.  I could let myself get caught up in worry and fear, perhaps sell all of our holdings and wait it out in cash, gold, or food supplies and guns.  Instead, I chose to focus on the long-term history of the American economy and stay diversified.  I cannot control the direction of the stock market, so it doesn't do me any good to obsess about it. 

• Silver Lining:  As I mentioned in a previous post, our spending in retirement is under budget so far, and way under what we used to spend when I was working.   As it happens, a dollar not spent is more valuable than a dollar earned.  I might not be earning much (if anything) on my investments, but those lost dollars of income aren't worth as much as a dollar saved anyway.  In my state, $100 of income only adds about $60 to your bank account after tax.  But $100 not spent is still the whole $100 in my bank account.

  
Filling the Glass

There's plenty to worry about these days.  But I am entirely unconvinced that obsessive worry does any good, for your health, for your economic security, or for your relationships.

Choosing a positive outlook and being grateful for the good things about your life won't hurt you, and may actually help.

My glass is filled with good health, the love of my family and friends, the beauty of a walk in my neighborhood, the joy of growing my own produce, the fun of a game of tennis with my husband at the local school, and the wealth of an amazing selection of books and DVD's at my local library.  

I choose not to focus on what's not in that glass.

 

flikr photo credit:  jespis

Comments

[jennifer youngblood]

My glass is full of loving rescued animals, a caring partner/boyfriend/, my current free graduate school education, and the little surprises that crop up when I think something is going poorly. =D

[Analise]

I love your positive attitude... hope it's contagious! I agree, it does absolutely no good to dwell on or obsess over things we can't control.. like the state of the economy. What we can control is our attitude and ability to see and appreciate the blessings in our lives.

[Anonymous]

Syd,
Up until now, I hadn't realized how out of touch you are with reality and how on the verge of depression you really are. There are 5 stages to depression, the first one is 'denial'. You are in stage 1.

"#1Silver Lining: I can benefit from the decline in value right now, by saving several thousand dollars on my property tax bill this year. That's real money, not just paper money on a balance sheet, real dollars in my bank account."

Have you received a notice from your county that your property value has been reduced and thus your property taxes are reduced? or have you contacted your local tax collector and notified them that you house value went down several thousand dollars and therefore they should adjust your tax revenue? Or have you already gotten your lowered property tax bill?

If you answered yes, you are probably the only one in the country who had their tax collector voluntarily lower their tax bill without a fight. Even if your home value went down, your county can not exist without that revenue. So, what they are doing is upping the percentages, so in reality, you will probably pay the same. For arguments sake, let's say that yes, indeed, you are paying less in property taxes. As a CPA, or finance person, you must know that a reduction in tax write-offs on your personal filings mean you have to pay MORE in income taxes. Either way you slice it, you're not saving any REAL money on your balance sheet.

"#2My glass is filled with the wealth of an amazing selection of books and DVD's at my local library."

You mean to tell me that just your library, and your library alone is not facing a reduction in federal funding? If so, doesn't matter because the reduction in federal funding is coming with or without the stimulus, as it is for ALL American libraries and you will see a reduction in services.(see reason #1 above)

"#3Instead, I chose to focus on the long-term history of the American economy and stay diversified. I cannot control the direction of the stock market, so it doesn't do me any good to obsess about it."

As a venture capitalist, you should know that future earnings can never be based on past history. Where is it written that the American economy will ever recover? Can anyone guarantee that? Think America can't fail? Think Russia, Great Britian, France. They all used to be super powers that have now been passed over and lay along the wayside. What makes you think your broke America, that has been borrowing future tax dollars in trillions of dollars will remain or even come back to super power status?? Where?

You're comfortable with losing ten of thousands of dollars? Good. Because chances are you are going to keep losing, and losing, and losing. Enjoy. You're right, it doesn't do you any good to obsess about it. It's out of your hands. You and your elitist husband have enough for yourselves, so you two are just going to keep on playing tennis and taking those nice long walks.

Your country is going socialist, Syd. Look it up. Think the new socialist order will permit able bodied men and women to stay home and not work? Ha!

It's apparent to me that both you and your husband have dropped out of society. I hadn't realized your true underlying grief, despair and depression with human life. Your husband lost his dot com job back in 2001 and never once went back to work. Why is that? What was he afraid of? You worked hard and saved your money so that you can stop working also in your 40's? Maybe you subconsciously didn't like the fact that hubby was home while you were out making the money and earning a living. Hey! You must have said to your subconscious....I want a piece of that! I want to stay home.

You say that there is nothing you can do about the current situation. Really? With all your financial smarts you couldn't volunteer and help another financially struggling human being who doesn't know a negative cash flow from a positive cash flow? Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot. You were just lucky in life. Your CPA, your 14 year working history with a top notch company was just pure luck. Had nothing to do with your intelligence, dedication, education and just plain smarts.

You take your good fortune for granted. It's not luck. When a person makes good, educated, smart choices, they tend to feel lucky, like you do. But you are instead, blessed. And when people take their blessings for granted, well, their 'luck' doesn't last very long.

I don't know why liberals like to denegrade themselves. Seems to be an epidemic. You may have convinced yourself to be an optimist but to an experienced eye, I'm not buying it. You're trying hard to console yourself, but Syd, it's not working.

I can see right through you.

[Retired Syd]

@Jennifer and Analise: It warms my heart to see others, like you, appreciate the blessings in your lives.

@Anonymous: We obviously come at life from different perspectives. I hope you can find some joy in your life even with all that's going on around us. We only get one shot at it. It makes me happiest to relish every moment and appreciate what I do have instead of what I don't. But everyone has to find happiness their own way. I wish you the best in finding the path that works for you.

[Hubby]

@Anonymous: Wow, just yesterday you said I ("the husband") was "exceedingly smart and savvy" and now today I am "elitist". I think I will take the high road on this and just stay positive!

And, for the record, I beat her every time we play tennis.

[ElizabethG]

Hi Syd,
I'm an optimist about most things, hubby is a pessimist. Except for financial markets; at present, I am the hand-wringer, he is rather nonchalant. Hopefully it balances things out.

@Anonymous,
I remember a very profound statement by golfer Tiger Woods when asked if he would rather be lucky or be good, something to the effect of... if you're good, you put yourself into the position to take advantage of being lucky. Think about it.

[Chad @ Sentient Money]

@ Anonymous
First, it's a typical "Anonymous" post on a blog. Secondly, I bet you are fun at parties!

Library - So, are you saying you have read/listened/wathed everything at your library and at all the other libraries it has exchange agreements with? If you have then you need to be concerned about federal funding dropping. More than likely you aren't able to get through a couple hundred thousand pieces of media in your life time, so I think the library will do just fine.

Socialist USA? - "volunteer and help another financially struggling human being who doesn't know a negative cash flow from a positive cash flow?" Wouldn't that be a socialist practice...to volunteer. Hey, you suggested it.

Liberals - Yes, the SCOURGE of humanity! I'm sure every single one of those bank CEOs was a liberal...those BASTARDS!!!! Think for yourself, as it's obvious you just parrot talking points from your programmers. Which begs the question, "Why do conservatives like to denegrate themselves by showing how little thought they have put into their responses."

"You're comfortable with losing ten of thousands of dollars?" - If she had said she wasn't comfortable with losing money, you would have said she was a traitor by not having faith in the US. We all know "liberals" have not faith in the US.

"What makes you think your broke America, that has been borrowing future tax dollars in trillions of dollars will remain or even come back to super power status??" - Well, after WWII the US debt was 94.1% of GDP and now it is in the mid 70's. Do we dig ourselves a hole? Yep. Can we get out of it? Yep. Will it be easy? Nope. By the way, should I call you a traitor for not believing in America? It's what a "good" conservative would do.

That was fun, but now I need a shower.