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March 30, 2009


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hahaha. I can relate, I don't have 25 years, but I do have a one bedroom and an introverted man that works from home.

That pretty much means that anytime I'm home so is he.

It makes for growth.

Retired Syd

@Nicole: I know you're a long way off from this but my advice: don't retire until you have at least 2 bedrooms!


great article that I relate to on sooo many levels! First we shared an office, then I moved into an adjoining small room with an open wall, then I had a wall built with a door, aaahhh, much better for both of us:~)!

Retired Syd

@Camille: I get it.


Syd, my unoccupied office desk and chair reside in the large office (converted bedroom) alongside hubby's desk and computer. I work on my laptop at the kitchen table. We tried sharing an office and that lasted about 3 days.

Retired Syd

@Elizabeth: Glad to hear I'm not the only one . . .




I am in the very early days of my husbands retirement and already I miss my time in the morning when he would go off to work and I could sit and have a cup of tea and read the newspaper uninterupted and not feeling like I have to share the crossword puzzle. I feel so selfish but 30 years of habits are going to be hard to break.

co divorce lawyer

It is said that marriages are made in heaven and marriage vows are sacred in nature. Whatever may be the truth, marriage is one of the oldest human institutions surviving through ages and still doing fine. In fact it is one of those primary relationships which give rise to a family which in turn leads to the higher social structures and the society.


Thank You for sharing your story!

Retired American

Great article! As women, I think many, if not most, of us have a "romantic dream" of how retirement will be. Then the reality hits. In my case, I was the one who retired first and had my routine down. You would think after 37 years of marriage we would know each others' needs pretty well. It has taken some time and adjustments. But then how boring life would be if it always went as we dreamed it.

Ann Hearn

You write great articles. I am divorced so unless I marry before retirement, which is not likely, I will not have to worry about this one. Last week, I was in the waiting room of my doctor's office when a well groomed outgoing lady approched the receptionist desk. The receptionist asked, "How are you?" The ladies was response was, " I am adjusting. My hunsband went into retirement and I am not use to him being under my feet." Yes, I guess this is a great adjustment. Keep up the great writings.


great post syd. I'm thinking about turning the spare bedroom upstairs into an office for me. Hubby and I are now sharing. It is not going as well as we hoped.

Retired Syd

Deb: I think a space of your own is the key. I spend less time there now, but for the first several months, I really needed it!


In Japan, retired husbands are referred to as "furui reizoku" or "old refrigerators" - no longer operable, take up lots of space, and not easily disposed of.

My wife of 35 years and I cope with this "too much of a good thing" by each having separate "work" rooms and each respecting each other's "me" time. We still share a bedroom, but I'm usually there from 2100 to 0500 and she's usually there from 0000 to 0800. And, already being well-caffeinated, I don't even say good morning to her until after she starts eating breakfast.

She's off trapsing around by herself at least three days a week - hubby rarely welcome. She cooks masterfully, I clean haphazardly.

I go off alone mountain climbing or biking for months at a time every year, but wifey often meets me for a multi-week vacation at the beginning or end of my solo sorjourn. She's always glad to see me go and I like to think that she's even more happy to see me come back.

Retirement can certainly strain a relationship, but as always, the willingness and ability to adapt is key.


In our early 50's my husband and I have been thrust into spending our days at home together with little or no warning. Being laid off within 6 months of each other coupled with dealing with financial uncertainty, spending hundreds on monthly health insurance premiums, job hunting, unemployment, and readjusting a full-time work schedule to spending 24/7 together is HUGE!

BUT however difficult our days are now can also be seen as a rare gift experienced by few. Figuring out the dynamics in our marriage [while we still have our faculties!!] gives me hope for a happy marriage as we age. Too many people give more energy making each other miserable than finding what it takes to be happy.

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