Every time I go to Manhattan, I think it is my soul mate. Like I was meant to live there. Loud, smelly, exciting, stately New York City, I feel comfortable there, like being with an old friend I’ve known for decades.
When I was much younger, I remember dreaming about marrying my soul mate someday. My wise step-mom told me, “You marry whomever it is you’re in love with at the time you’re ready to be married.”
I think it’s the same with where to live in retirement.
We just finished up a three-week home exchange in that city that I love. Now we are on a week-long swap in a beautiful, 1790’s home outside Brattleboro, Vermont. Of course now I’ve been fantasizing about living here. Life is slower, more casual, and there’s so much history here. I love the way the women here look; they look their age. I mean that as a compliment, the casual fashion, the apparent lack of makeup and Botox, the natural hair colors. I wish it were so back in My Suburbia, CA.
The truth is though, I wouldn’t last a winter in New York or Vermont.
Some people fantasize about retiring to a wooded, remote village, others to a vibrant, diverse city, others still, a hammock on a distant tropical isle. But if you didn’t live there before you retired, there was probably a reason for that, maybe the winters, maybe the absence of friends and family, or maybe the cost.
The reality is, to paraphrase my step-mom, you’ll probably be happiest retiring wherever it is you live when you’re ready to be retired. Luckily, unlike marriage, it’s ok to “cheat” on the place you live from time to time to go visit your soul mate. You know, when the weather’s nice.
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You know I love this post the most..of course it quotes ME!
And you know that I have been "cheating" on California with Puerto Vallarta for years. Now my secret love is Miami.
We can afford to be fickle when we know we always have our spot in faithful California just waiting for us.
The Wicked StepMom
Posted by: Sara | June 06, 2010 at 08:26 PM
I disagree. It is often the case that professional people have to live in a certain place to be close to well paid jobs, these places tend to be incompatable with early retirement or even retirement especially if one is downsizing and wants an alternative lifestyle. I certainly wont be staying where I am now when I ER. Maybe you just had an enchanted life :)
Posted by: Kath | June 07, 2010 at 01:30 PM
@Sara, yes you have shared various phrases of wisdom over the years.
@Kath: You make a good point, or if you've had to relocate for your job. In my case, I'd have a hard time wandering too far as this is where all my friends and family live. It would be hard for me to leave my social network.
Posted by: Retired Syd | June 07, 2010 at 02:28 PM
Yep. I've never had a choice in the matter, I've always had to go where the work is and live in places where I don't really want to be.
Posted by: kath | June 08, 2010 at 03:20 AM
where to live? now there's the rub? i live at the jersey shore but on the mainland (no jersey jokes) all summer my wife and i lay about the beach and work on our melanoma. something people pay good money to come here and do. you can be in philly, new york or washington dc in no time. you can be in mountains or deep woods where all you hear is the wind. the climate is good, shopping has many options and when i want, i can't spit with out hitting a part time job. i could go on and on but then i'd need my own blog (hum?) many people from jersey retire and leave to beat the property tax but i don't know? people pay to be in disneyland?
Posted by: fred doe | June 18, 2010 at 12:44 PM
I also disagree.
As a professional I need to be close to a city (in my case Frankfurt, Germany. The world has changed since I started work all those years ago and we now travel a lot more, have the facility to work from home and have video conferencing. But have we really broken the bond from the office - in my experience no and i don't see it happening in my lifetime.
So back to the point where to retire?
Originally from the UK we thought we might one day "go home" but I think having severed the bonds some years ago going back will be both risky and I feel ultimately disappointing. We will definitely move when we retire but where to exactly - who knows (and that's part of the excitement of it all!)
Posted by: Martin, Germany | March 22, 2013 at 11:55 AM