I recently wrote that people may feel bored in retirement simply because they are overwhelmed by the unlimited number of choices they now face. Immobilized by fear of choosing the wrong thing, they choose nothing at all and wind up bored.
But there is another culprit responsible for boredom in retirement: hedonic adaptation. Maybe you never experienced boredom when you first retired. Maybe you basked in the freedom to go to the movies in the middle of the day or linger over lunch with a friend. Maybe you relished the general absence of hurrying. But at some point, the novelty wore off. Even though you’re doing those same things that used to make you happy, they just don’t seem to make you happy anymore. Now they are just normal.
Hedonic adaptation is that phenomenon that eventually brings you back to earth after experiencing a positive life change like winning the lottery, getting married, or retiring. After an initial period of euphoria, you eventually get used to your newfound riches of money, love, or time, and return to the level of happiness you enjoyed before the positive event.
Yesterday’s New York Times had a great article about how hedonic adaptation applies to love and marriage. According to the article, we are “biologically hard-wired to crave variety. Variety and novelty affect the brain in much the same way that drugs do — that is, they trigger activity that involves the neurotransmitter dopamine, as do pharmacological highs.”
So how do you recapture the high that you enjoyed right after you retired? Well, you’re going to have to change it up a bit. The same old same old isn’t going to cut it. You’ve got to introduce some variety, and for those that are going to be retired for decades, you’re going to have to do this over and over again.
The key is to balance what makes you feel good with what makes you feel good about yourself.
I recently volunteered to join the finance committee of an educational non-profit in my community. It’s a novel experience for me and I’m kind of learning as I go along. But I'm getting a charge from meeting new people and from being part of something that is doing such great work to help kids and their teachers. On the days that I’m engaged with the group, I feel good about myself.
I’ve also gotten back into my yoga routine. While you might think this is an activity that feels good, it doesn’t feel good until it’s over. It would only be a slight exaggeration to equate it to torture. Bikram Yoga is practiced in an extremely hot studio and the 26 poses are very challenging. I find myself constantly negotiating the line between working hard enough to get the benefits, but not so hard that I throw up. On days that I go to yoga, I feel good about myself.
And while housework and yard work are not really activities that make me feel good, I sure do feel good about myself when I manage to tackle a little bit each day.
It’s not just about finding new things that make you feel good. Taking a nap in the middle of the day, enjoying lunch with a friend, or reading a good book--these are all things that make you feel good. They contribute to your hedonic well-being. But to get that retirement high back, you're also going to have to include things that contribute to your eudaimonic well-being. That’s why my favorite days in retirement have been the ones where I find the perfect balance between activities that make me feel good, and activities that make me feel good about myself.
Related Posts:
Is Being Content Preventing You from Being Happy in Retirement?
Why Retirement Won’t Make You Happy
Can’t keep track of my non-existent posting schedule? Subscribe—it’s free!
Love this post, b/c it is so true and so relevant. I myself have recently reinvigorated my hedonic side by joining a table tennis club -- I used to play as a kid; now I'm back at it. Next I've got to work on my eudaimonic side (and if nothing else, I learned a new vocabulary word today!)
Posted by: tom sightings | December 03, 2012 at 05:56 AM
If people really don't have to show up to a building somewhere to put food on the table, and still can't seem to figure out how to not be bored, then try slamming your finger in a drawer...Boredom will go away instantly and you will once again be grateful - not only for being financially secure, but also for the fact that your other nine fingers feel so blasted good....
Posted by: new at this | December 03, 2012 at 12:48 PM
Another good post. Bikram yoga ... now that sounds intense. My wife and I enjoyed a gentle yoga class last night ... I'll be my wheaton terrier's shoulders don't burn like mine do on downward dog (pun intended). Have an awesome week.
Posted by: Rick | December 03, 2012 at 07:53 PM
Had one more thought on this one....The Liberal Times tends to promotes a world view of instant gratification. Its therefore no surprise to see them trying to sound "intellectual" about rationalizing ones bailing on a partner when the new wears off..But this core premise doesn't metaphorically translate to the early retirement world....Anybody I've known that has been able to retire early exhibited the ability to delay gratification, stick to a plan, stay married to the same person, etc, etc....And therefore I don't buy into the idea that that boredom is inevitable...Boredom is only inevitable in the working world where you are "required" to do boring things to earn a living....In the retirement world, its completely up to you.
Posted by: new at this | December 04, 2012 at 05:36 AM
When it comes down to it, boredom is a choice. You choose it by not choosing to do something not boring. I'd also offer that I find bored people to be, well, boring!
My non-bored friends are, conversely, loads of fun to be around. They have energy and excitement to spare.
In my opinion, the only difference between the two groups is how they approach life.
Posted by: Tamara | December 04, 2012 at 07:24 AM
@New: I didn't read the Times' piece to rationalize bailing on your partner. This just goes to show you how two people that read the exact same article can walk away with a completely different take away. Interesting.
Posted by: Retired Syd | December 04, 2012 at 09:12 AM
Syd - As a man anyway, if the below quote becomes reflective of one's marriage, there is only one interpretation available - Its time to bail.
"The idea is that when our spouse becomes as familiar to us as a sibling — when we’ve become family — we cease to be sexually attracted to each other"
This is why I don't read the Liberal Times...They actually sit around all day thinking about and spewing this garbage...
Posted by: new at this | December 04, 2012 at 01:25 PM
The smarter one is the faster the hedonistic adaptation and the greater effort that must be expended to keep it at bay. Of course, if one lacks smarts, one can distract oneself from the frustrations of hedonistic adaptation by slamming one's fingers in a drawer (or drinking too much, or taking drugs, or bailing on wifey, etc.).
Posted by: Cyclesafe | December 06, 2012 at 06:48 PM
Cyclesafe: I think you have a point here. You can either deny that hedonistic adaptation occurs, or accept it and find (hopefully) constructive ways of dealing with it.
Posted by: Retired Syd | December 06, 2012 at 08:37 PM
Tamara is absolutley right! :D what you put into life is what you get out, if you sit around doing nothing then how can you be enjoying yourself?
Posted by: John @ Jersey Care | December 07, 2012 at 03:54 AM